How Shapely is RFK?
My brother sent me a newsletter about RFK Jr. and his fitness routine. Presumably for critique.
He came to the right place.
Now, let me start this off by saying a couple things:
I am not a professional trainer or anything, just someone who has spent quite a bit of time looking at quite a few things, reading about and thinking about fitness, and fitnessing fitness. I’m by no means an expert, but I suspect as you read through what I’ve written, you’ll find very little to disagree with. The thing is, I don’t think most of this stuff is all that complicated.
If your workouts look like RFK’s, I’m not necessarily critiquing you. This is a man who is in charge of the health of our entire nation. Now, even then, that alone wouldn’t compel me to critique a 71 year old man working out IN JEANS, BUT this is a guy who, apparently, had some people follow him around to show off the working out.
And if you do that, I feel, much like releasing a book into the world, that you open yourself up for critique.
So this is NOT how I feel about elder fitness, in general, but rather elder fitness on display in order to get us to, apparently, ignore vaccine science.
RFK’s Incline Bench Press
Tiktok failed to load.Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser
Well, I guess we’ll start with the jeans because for whatever reason, that’s more noticeable to me than the shirtlessness (which we’ll also cover).
I’m not the biggest “critique what people wear at the gym” guy because I think, for the most part, people can kind of wear what’s comfortable.
I’m personally a fan of loose-fitting sweats and not one to recommend super tight tights and a sports bra, but that’s because I like to let my girlies bounce (#MyBodyMyChoice) and because, well, it’s unfair, but it’ll probably earn you attention of a type that you don’t want.
I’m not arguing that society is just and right, just living in reality where pervos go to the gym and annoy babes, and I think showing off the guns (“guns” are boobs, right?), you’re probably not going to advance the cause so much as you’re going to annoy the shit out of everyone else.
Lest you think I have a double-standard here, though, I’m EVEN LESS a fan of shirtless dudes in the gym. As off-putting as most people find the jeans, I actually think the shirtlessness is much worse.
I mean, he’s at an outdoor gym, a faux Muscle Beach in what looks like a strip mall parking lot, which is kind of a problem because that’s the natural habitat of Chili’s employees smoking on break, and where are they supposed to go now?
But in all seriousness, shirtlessness, it’s gross and unnecessary. Sweating all over shit? Plus, a standard fit, cotton shirt is better for getting some friction on a bench or under a bar than your oily skin.
And you’ve bought a bus ticket to Ringworm City, baby. Home of ringworm. Hence the name. I can’t make this any clearer.
Ultimately, popping the shirt off, even going sleeveless where the “sleeve” part of the shirt is apparently defined as anything on the sides of the shirt:
If I can see the cum gutters and the nips, it’s show-off-y, and I don’t have time for that bullshit. Besides, this look is better on your mom when she took those secret sexy pics for your dad and wore only an apron.
Jeans in the gym, however, are unacceptable except for ONE old man in each gym who gets a pass. This is a little-known municipal mandate, each gym must select a grandpa who will wear jeans, and occasionally khakis, to the gym.
Being 71, RFK may be the jeans guy at his gym, and I refuse to mess around with the tried and true methods behind gym operations that include one old guy in jeans per gym.
But if you’re thinking about doing it, don’t. You probably will have some limited flexibility (unless you’re like me and have entered the stretchy jeans phase of life), and the rivets are not nice to the coverings on benches and so on.
If you’re worth over $15 million, like RFK, you can stop in at a Target and buy a pair of fucking shorts.
The Incline Bench
Well, personally, it’s not an exercise that I think is terribly useful. It’s not really a bench press, it’s not really an overhead press, it’s kind of a both, and there’s really no evidence that it’s “better” in any measurable sense unless your goal is to work your deltoids (shoulder muscles), and there are probably better options to do that as well.
Bodybuilding bros will probably do them because they are more into targeting specific parts of muscles to get a certain look, but my vote is to skip these just because you don’t need flat and incline bench for basic stuff, so why do two exercises when you can do one and probably get 90% of the same benefits?
RFK’s speed here is…not my favorite. You can see he’s kind of trying to get in a certain number of reps and not really getting in quality reps. The bar should *just* touch his upper chest at the bottom, and he’s pretty far off from that. Now, he’s an older guy, I’m considering it very possible he doesn’t have amazing shoulder mobility, but he seemed to be able to reach one arm around his body and to the other to inject heroin, so, you know, he’s probably alright.
But the real problem here is this spotting setup.
Spotters are super important on bench presses, everyone. Incline slightly less so, you’re not going to get pinned under a bar and killed (easily the most dangerous thing in the gym), but still, it’d be dumb to not use a spotter.
But it’s really important to communicate with your spotter ahead of time, and here’s how that should go:
Thanks for spotting me, bro.
I don’t want you to touch the bar once it’s unracked unless you see it stop traveling upwards for a 1, 2 count. That indicates I’m stuck, and that’s when you step in.
Once you touch the bar, we’re putting it all the way up, and we’re racking it.
This is where I think RFK fucks up: when it’s become pretty clear he’s done-zo, the spotter steps in, and he does THREE MORE REPS with spotter assistance.
I don’t love that. When the bar is no longer traveling upward, you’re done. The spotter really should only be touching the bar to help you complete a rep that’s going to fail and to safely rerack the bar.
Because if you use a spotter the RFK way, it’s very hard to tell whether you’re pushing the amount of weight you intended to today or if you might be pushing less than you did last week because the spotter you used that time helped you out less.
Last, what is with motherfuckers being allergic to clips/collars that keep the plates from sliding off the bar?
Now: if you’re bench pressing without a reliable spotter or benching a very heavy weight with a spotter, don’t use clips, you can then tilt the bar and slide the plates off, potentially saving your life in a failure situation. I mean, don’t do this and move forward like you’re all good, but it’s SOMETHING.
But RFK is pushing like 115, on an incline, so he won’t get his neck pinched, with a spotter who could pretty easily get that weight racked, so I think the benefits of not using clips are outweighed by the potential of the plates slipping around and sliding, unbalancing the bar.
The Pull-Ups-ish
Tiktok failed to load.Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser
Boy, this guy really likes to go to failure, eh?
It’s probably a stretch to call that 20 pull-ups because, if you ask me, there wasn’t a single complete rep in there.
That doesn’t mean it’s totally unimpressive, I’m guessing most people, at 71, could not hang from a bar for that amount of time.
It’s weird, I think what we’re witnessing here is the first instance of Senior Ego Lifting.
For the unfamiliar, “Ego Lifting” is when you load up a bar or do an exercise not based on where you’re at in your training or what your goals are, but because you think it’d be cool to do a bunch of weight or knock out a bunch of reps, or because that guy with the sidecut shirt brought his mom and she’s only wearing an apron for some reason, but man, she’s still got it!
Ego Lifting is how non-athletes get hurt, by the way. It’s stupid, and it’s rarely all that impressive anyway.
If RFK was my trainee, I’d have him doing far fewer pull-ups, all the way down, all the way up, and slower. The goal isn’t to get in 20, no matter what they look like, and that’s especially not the goal when you’re 71. When you’re 71, the goal is to prolong healthspan, right? As in the time you’ve got where you’re mobile and feeling good.
I might have him do the 20 in 4 sets of 5. If that becomes easy, 3 sets of 7. 2 sets of 10. And so on. But what I’d really want him to do is to make the most of a lower number of reps because I think that will confer the most benefit.
Push-Ups
Listen, I am once again going to remind everyone that RFK posted this himself. This isn’t a paparazzi film or whatever.
I’d call these C+ push-ups. He’s just not getting the full squeeze at the top, and I think he could be getting a lot more out of these.
There’s a theme here, which is doing half-reps in order to hit an even number.
I’d like to see one rep, slow descent, almost-pause at the bottom, all the way back up, almost-pause, controlled descent again.
Controlled reps of this type will confer more benefits and reduce the risk of injury, so it’s a win-win in all scenarios other than making Reels, I guess.
Natty or Notty?
When Lex Fridman asked about RFK’s regimen, he started by talking about intermittent fasting, he hikes every day, meditates, goes to the gym for 35 minutes, he takes a lot of vitamins (“I can’t even list them to you here, I couldn’t even remember them all, but I take a ton of vitamins and nutrients,”)…
Which, that all sounds great, right?
Then he gets into his “anti-aging protocol,” which includes testosterone replacement:
…but I don’t take any steroids, I don’t take any anabolic steroids or anything like that, and the TRT I use is bioidentical to what my body produces.
Testosterone is an anabolic steroid, 100%.
You can’t take testosterone and compete in the NCAA, Olympics, or most professional sports organizations without getting a specific exemption, which is basically for a diagnosed medical condition and would not include “being old.”
So let’s be very clear about this: RFK is juicing. Even if what he’s adding to his body is a supplement to something his body produces, that still counts, my friends.
Let’s also be clear about this: I don’t have a problem with that, in general. I really don’t. It kind of seems like, perhaps, some supplemental testosterone might be a good thing for aging men in terms of maintaining a longer healthspan, however it may also increase the incidence of stuff like, oh, cardiovascular disease and cancer. Most of what I’ve found would say that there is not enough evidence regarding the longterm treatment of men 60+ with TRT.
If your grandpa wants to get on TRT and run around shirtless and gross you the fuck out with boners that pop up while he sleeps in his easy chair, that’s between him and his gods.
The problem is, firstly, that I’m not thrilled that the person in charge of health and human services either doesn’t know that testosterone is a steroid or is lying about it. Take your pick: he’s ignorant about what he’s putting in his body, or he’s a liar.
Secondly, I can’t be sure whether RFK is speaking correctly or doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about, but “bioidenticals” are testosterone replacement products that are created based on plant and animal sources as opposed to chemicals. Which, to stupid people, sounds like it’s better, right? “If nature made it, it’s better for me!”
But the truth is that bioidenticals are NOT better because A) the dosages can vary wildly, up to 20%, which makes it pretty difficult to control, and B) because there is no evidence to support the theory that naturally-derived versions (which also go through extensive lab processing and have added chemicals, by the way) is any better or safer.
It’s a classic “Appeal to Nature” form of fallacious thinking: That which is natural is better for me.
Arsenic is natural. Smallpox is natural.
Wearing a helmet is unnatural. Decreased deaths during pregnancy and birthing is unnatural.
While I don’t have a problem with TRT, I’m not thrilled that RFK doesn’t understand that either the testosterone he’s taking is synthetic or that it’s probably not super safe.
A Ton of Vitamins and Nutrients
Probably the most interesting part of this interview and RFK’s regimen is that he takes more pills than he can remember.
And these supplements are oftentimes NOT a great idea.
The FDA is responsible for regulating dietary supplements…we might think of them—because they're health products—as being a subcategory of medication … the FDA regulates them as a subcategory of food.
This has huge consequences for the whole category of dietary supplements—from vitamins, minerals, probiotics and all sorts of new ingredient. What it means is that the manufacturer can introduce anything into the market that they believe is safe.
The FDA's job is to identify the products that are causing harm after they've been on the market and remove them from store shelves.
…because the FDA isn't vetting these products before they show up on store shelves or on the internet, what happens is that they can pose unpredictable risks.
Look: I understand that a lot of people don’t have a lot of faith in government at the moment.
But consider: The FDA does not have a stake in a particular supplement. That is by design. That is so that supplements can be tested fairly and without bias.
Meanwhile, a supplement company has a huge stake in supplements. It’s their entire reason for existing.
When you take a supplement, you’re really participating in a worldwide study, and it’s only if adverse reactions are reported and traced back to a supplement that the supplement will be investigated.
Consider that for a moment. Consider that a company can just put some shit out there, and until it triggers an investigation, it will be on store shelves.
Consider that a product being on store shelves in absolutely no way indicates its safety. It’s entirely possible that this is a product whose only safety guarantee is the company “believing” it to be safe.
Fraud?
Definitely. RFK is definitely a huge fucking fraud.
I’m going to give you my highly biased opinion here:
What separates a fitness fraud from a non-fraud is that when you ask a fraud what they’re doing, and they’re taking testosterone, they list that LAST. After “walking the dogs” and shit.
We’re all walking the dogs, bro. That definitely does not explain the ability to (kind of) do pull-ups at age 71.
A non-fraud who’s juicing will say, unequivocally, that they’re juicing.
A fraud will look like this:
And then tell you it’s about walking around shirtless in the sun and eating liver.
There is a bit of wiggle room here. When you ask The Rock whether he’s juicing, he kind of has to say No. He’s trying to project a family-friendly image, it’s part of why he gets hired, so I can’t blame the dude for lying about it.
Guys, the deal with people like The Rock, or when a megastar puts on 60 lbs of muscle in 2 months, is that we just don’t ask about it. We let it be Schrödinger’s injection.
But that’s when we’re talking about someone who is riding on a giant bee with Luis Guzmán and shit, not someone who is in charge of the entire country’s health.
RFK talks about raw milk like it’s a good thing to drink. It’s not.
RFK talks about how vaccines are harmful. They are not.
RFK talks about how hiking and some exercise are the main contributors to his current fitness level. They are not.
The Real Issue
There’s a sports fallacy that’ll say that if you want the best running coach, you should find the fastest runner. Or, if you want the best weightlifting coach, you should find the person who can lift the most.
But what this discounts is that you might find a weightlifting coach who is awesome and knows his shit, and he might be 65 years old, not in the competitive game anymore, but still have a lot of experience. He’s not lifting anything like what the 25 year-old dudes are, but he doesn’t NEED to be. He’s smart, he’s worked with a lot of athletes, and he keeps up with the literature.
Boxing is like the only sport that has worked this out. Boxing coaches do not look like boxers. Because they don’t need to get punched in the face for a living anymore. They can train OTHER people to do that shit.
Whether or not RFK is in shape is just a distraction from the fact that he knows positively dick about health.
It’s a trick we use in fiction all the time, we establish someone’s authority, their knowledge base or something, and then the good will of the reader carries over to other areas.
In Chuck Palahniuk’s Survivor, the narrator knows how to deep clean or fix just about anything. He’s the ultimate homemaker. He can tell you how to get any kind of stain out of any kind of fabric. And he does. And the result is that when, later in the story, he starts telling you more outlandish things, you believe him. Because if he knows his shit in one arena, we assume (wrongfully) that he knows his shit in others as well.
The fittest person on Earth is not necessarily the best person to determine what health and human services for the entire country should look like. We don’t typically give this job to the person who can half-ass the most pull-ups.
I mean, if that’s all it takes, I’ll happily outdo RFK in any physical event, any time, and once I’m head of HHS, you won’t have to go through the huge bummer of your grandkids dying of measles.